Project Athena - Day 164 (Freedom)
No Freedom in Potted Wisdom
Today, I have been thinking about how I have become reliant on, even addicted to, "potted wisdom" to get myself through the day. It's as though I have accepted platitudes in place of truth and I use them like a band aid whenever I want to avoid making a difficult decision or I want to cover up some ugliness I've seen in the world. I don't know exactly how I got to this place but I do recognize that I somehow came to fear fear itself. It's as though I have come to believe that the emotion we call "terror" could be the end of me...that if I allow that emotion to surface and truly be felt, I will be undone.
My mind tries to protect me from this fate by reframing any situation, thought or experience that triggers this fear, particularly existential fear. Sadly, the flowery, embellished stories that may allow me to artificially feel better also rob me (and you) of the richness of life, real freedom and the true emotional depth that is part of the human experience. Even with this blog, I have cited quotes from others to make the blog more shiny and attractive rather than just trusting that my experience, when shared in openness and authenticity, is perfect and what is really needed in the moment. So...no more potted wisdom. I choose freedom.
Today marks a change in the message. I have nothing to teach, no clever quotes to share, no attachment to the outcome of what is shared. I only have a willingness to stop each day and tell the truth of what I experience. And like potted wisdom, experiences come and go. A beautiful flower blooming in all its glory one day offers its sweet nectar and radiant colors to the world. But when its time is done, it wilts and dries up, composting its organic matter back into the earth and providing energy for another plant to grow.
May we all be free of anything that keeps us from living life fully. May we find the courage to face our deepest fears and to know that emotions, without a story, are simply energy passing through the body.
I want to thank my dear friend, Kevin Billett (http://www.thejourney.com/about-us/about-kevin-billett/), for being willing to show up so authentically in life. Your Enneagram Master Class is rocking my world in the best possible way and I feel freedom is finding me.